I am so excited. I've been in a the biggest rut with my art for the past year and i think i'm finally coming out of it. I realized that my work has been about the product for too long. So, i decided to find a way to really make it about the process. I wanted to find a way to be impulsive, and lack any care of what comes from it. I wanted to be completely immersed in my medium.
SO.
Last night i danced a painting. I taped down to large sheets of paper, put on some
OH LAND, and made some moves. I moved across the surface with tubes of paint in my hand, and watched the liquid color fall from my fingers to the surface, but in a different way that it ever has before. The original intention was to just pull the paint around with my feet. Of course, i couldn't control myself. By the end I was practically rolling in it. I even began impulsively smashing my pastels with a hammer, watching pigment explode. It felt like I finally opened the door to something. I had forgotten the sheer enjoyment of making art.
The actual product isn't anything that I'm attached to. But the feeling of that paint, that's where i need to go.
I have a vision. A plan.
I am going to cover the entire floor of the studio with paper. Tape it down. Shut the doors, shut the windows, and lock myself in there. I want to be completely exposed in front of my surface. I want to be completely honest with it. I want to eliminate all fear. I want my body to be the brush. To literally roll in paint. To physically be completely consumed by it. I will have to be completely naked, and completely alone, so that i have nothing to hide. I'm not sure what is going to come of this, but what I do know, is that I will be listening to
Radiohead the entire time.
Anticipation.
ALSO, thank you Emily, Jackie, and Adam for dancing with me. You all have lovely feet.